Positive reinforcement is the best way to combat self-doubt, negative thinking, and excessive criticism.
A Time of Transformation
- Old things sometimes must decompose, decay, ferment, or rot. Try to think about these natural processes in a positive way. Think about delicious pickles; fermented grape juice; dried mushrooms.
- Now think about what you want to change in your life. Maybe it’s a relationship that’s worth ending. Maybe you want to change a job that doesn’t suit you or get rid of bad habits. Or maybe you just feel that you need to clean out the basement. Choose one issue that is most relevant to you.
- Once you’ve chosen one area to tackle, ask yourself what substance you’re lacking that would help carry out your plans. It could be water, yeast, air, potatoes, musk, rosemary, soda, etc. Let your imagination run wild. What are you missing right now? What form does the missing thing take? The hint is sometimes hidden in the language—we are talking about a lack of financial liquidity or a need for stability.
- Which type of matter did your imagination suggest to you—liquid, gas, or solid? What does it symbolize? What does this symbol mean to you? Meditate on introducing this substance into your situation and think about the change it will cause. Maybe it will make you go with the flow? Or maybe it will allow you to put down roots?
Positive Reinforcement
- What gets stronger within you when you think badly of yourself or see only the negative side of your life? Try to answer this question.
- If you are already aware of what you are reinforcing with such thoughts, think about whether this is what you want.
- Now think about what qualities you would like to develop within yourself. These can be independence, empathy, creativity, etc. For this activity, choose one of the traits that comes to mind, and then think about what behaviors you can adapt that will reinforce it. These can be small actions.
- Positive reinforcement is the best way to combat self-doubt, negative thinking, and excessive criticism. However, remember a very important rule: only strengthen the qualities that you actually have, not the ones that others would like to see in you. By trying to develop unrealistic qualities, you could harm yourself. So first think about who you really are and what you want to nurture within yourself. This is necessary for positive reinforcement to have a chance to work.
Defense Mechanisms
- Our brains produce a plethora of defense mechanisms that help us get through life’s difficulties. The challenge in this case is to leave the mechanism behind when we no longer need it. The problem is that we are usually not aware of the defense mechanisms that are forming—and the ones we created in the past sometimes make us overreact.
- Think about a time when you have behaved poorly to a situation and your reaction was exaggerated. I know it might not be easy—after all, we are often not aware of these mechanisms.
- If you have already recalled such an event, think about what was really behind your behavior. What did you try to hide from yourself? Maybe you were ashamed of something? Maybe you actually felt angry with a completely different person?
- Observe your reactions to different situations. If you find them inadequate, this is the first step to positive change and leaving behind the old defense mechanisms that are no longer needed.