Program Yourself to Be Happy Program Yourself to Be Happy
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Photo: Carol M. Highsmith’s, „America”, Library of Congress/Rawpixel (public domain)
Experiences

Program Yourself to Be Happy

Jowita Kiwnik Pargana
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time 15 minutes

Optimists live longer, are more self-confident, and deal with stress more effectively. Pessimists can also learn to be optimistic, and here’s some advice on how to do it.  

It was in the late 1960s when American psychologist Martin Seligman started research that would soon make him famous in the scientific community. His goal was to analyze the mechanism behind learned helplessness, which is a state of passivity and resignation resulting from a belief that, no matter what actions we take, they won’t have any impact on what happens to us. In his laboratory experiments, Seligman managed to generate a sense of helplessness: first in dogs, then in mice, rats, and pigeons. It became more challenging, however, when he began to research people. As he recalled in a 2020 American NPR program dedicated to optimism, “One-third of people I could not make helpless in laboratory, so I began to wonder, what was it about some people that makes them so resilient?” 

The subject of the program was not accidental. As Alix Spiegel, a science journalist who hosted it, observed, “Seligman came to research on optimism through a strange back door.” He demonstrated that people who had an optimistic approach to life proved resistant to his experiments. 

High Spirits Help  

Science shows that an optimistic approach has many advantages. Optimists are more confident, persistent, and enthusiastic about life (and expect more from it). They deal with failures better than pessimists and tend to blame themselves less often, identifying unfavorable circumstances as the reason. As demonstrated in a 2001 study by Margaret Marshall and Jonathon Brown from the University of Washington, students whose levels of optimism are higher tend to claim their success (“I passed

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Mindfulness Exercises for a Cold Day Mindfulness Exercises for a Cold Day
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Photo by: Aaron Burden/Unsplash
Wellbeing

Mindfulness Exercises for a Cold Day

Magdalena Róża Skoczewska

Positive reinforcement is the best way to combat self-doubt, negative thinking, and excessive criticism. 

A Time of Transformation 

  1. Old things sometimes must decompose, decay, ferment, or rot. Try to think about these natural processes in a positive way. Think about delicious pickles; fermented grape juice; dried mushrooms. 
  2. Now think about what you want to change in your life. Maybe it’s a relationship that’s worth ending. Maybe you want to change a job that doesn’t suit you or get rid of bad habits. Or maybe you just feel that you need to clean out the basement. Choose one issue that is most relevant to you. 
  3. Once you’ve chosen one area to tackle, ask yourself what substance you’re lacking that would help carry out your plans. It could be water, yeast, air, potatoes, musk, rosemary, soda, etc. Let your imagination run wild. What are you missing right now? What form does the missing thing take? The hint is sometimes hidden in the language—we are talking about a lack of financial liquidity or a need for stability. 
  4. Which type of matter did your imagination suggest to you—liquid, gas, or solid? What does it symbolize? What does this symbol mean to you? Meditate on introducing this substance into your situation and think about the change it will cause. Maybe it will make you go with the flow? Or maybe it will allow you to put down roots?

Positive Reinforcement 

  1. What gets stronger within you when you think badly of yourself or see only the negative side of your life? Try to answer this question. 
  2. If you are already aware of what you are reinforcing with such thoughts, think about whether this is what you want. 
  3. Now think about what qualities you would like to develop within yourself. These can be independence, empathy, creativity, etc. For this activity, choose one of the traits that comes to mind, and then think about what behaviors you can adapt that will reinforce it. These can be small actions. 
  4. Positive reinforcement is the best way to combat self-doubt, negative thinking, and excessive criticism. However, remember a very important rule: only strengthen the qualities that you actually have, not the ones that others would like to see in you. By trying to develop unrealistic qualities, you could harm yourself. So first think about who you really are and what you want to nurture within yourself. This is necessary for positive reinforcement to have a chance to work.

Defense Mechanisms 

  1. Our brains produce a plethora of defense mechanisms that help us get through life’s difficulties. The challenge in this case is to leave the mechanism behind when we no longer need it. The problem is that we are usually not aware of the defense mechanisms that are forming—and the ones we created in the past sometimes make us overreact. 
  2. Think about a time when you have behaved poorly to a situation and your reaction was exaggerated. I know it might not be easy—after all, we are often not aware of these mechanisms. 
  3. If you have already recalled such an event, think about what was really behind your behavior. What did you try to hide from yourself? Maybe you were ashamed of something? Maybe you actually felt angry with a completely different person? 
  4. Observe your reactions to different situations. If you find them inadequate, this is the first step to positive change and leaving behind the old defense mechanisms that are no longer needed.
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