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Of Viruses and Men Of Viruses and Men
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Of Viruses and Men

Biological Dreams
Tomasz Sitarz
Reading
time 10 minutes
Tomasz Sitarz:
was asked to write a few words about himself and it blocked him. He clogged up like the import channels of the mitochondrial proteins, whose unblocking and biogenesis he studies. Out of curiosity and hunger.

Join our fearless biologist-reporter, this time invigilating the circles of ruthless murderers who hide their stealthy genetic material under the cloak they call capsid.

Due to the recent restrictions with regard to leaving the house, my laboratory work was lately limited to pondering on various questions and dream-reading through the lens of biological events. Last night, I experienced a vision in the form of a molecular whisper; an investigation dream, if you like. I, the accused, stood in the middle of a large room, the thundering voice of the SARS-CoV-2 virion booming above my head. The room was round, and the benches by its walls towered all the way up to the ceiling. In the seats were all kinds of viruses, crowding and pointing at me with their appendages. I was asked all kinds of accusatory questions and had to answer them according to humanity’s best knowledge. I will now try and give an account of what I saw and heard during that nocturnal event, in hopes that my observations are useful to others.

***

SARS-CoV-2: I hereby call to order the convention of the Virus Council. At today’s meeting, we shall plan the invigilation of the animate world and examine all the intelligence you humans have gathered on us. The interrogated was captured on the border of the human and molecular world while trying to steal our secrets. Does the Homo sapiens have anything to say at this point?

Homo sapiens: I have so much to say that I&

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Tomasz Sitarz:
was asked to write a few words about himself and it blocked him. He clogged up like the import channels of the mitochondrial proteins, whose unblocking and biogenesis he studies. Out of curiosity and hunger.
Translation: Aga Zano
Publish date: 19.06.2020

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Matthew Coachinger:
was someone else before he became who he is.

Honestly, right from the start I kind of liked all of this. As soon as I first put on a mask, I realized that I could pull any faces I wanted, and no-one would consider me ridiculous. So I pulled faces left, right and centre. I rode empty buses standing up: “Look mum no hands!” I used to love doing this as a child and now I can do it again, riding the bus as recklessly as Ben Hur, grimacing all I want.

I didn’t like the tight, latex glove as much, though. But I came to like the loose, transparent plastic ones – they make such a nice, rustling sound! In the shops, I rustled them all the time so I didn’t have to listen to what people were talking about. Oh, no complaints there. Rustling gloves and a distance of two metres – this was enough for me to almost stop paying attention to other people. Sometimes I could hear scraps of conversations, so I switched to online shopping so as not to disturb my positive outlook. But as soon as I bought this simple, yet magical item online, I was able to go out again. An invention to end all inventions: a visor!

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