Quiz: Which Celestial Body Are You? Quiz: Which Celestial Body Are You?
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Illustration: Marek Raczkowski
Variety

Quiz: Which Celestial Body Are You?

Everything’s Gonna Be Alright
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The train you’re taking to see your family is running late. What do you do? 

a) Let down my braid, hoist up my skirt, and run to them as fast as I can.

b) No worries, they won’t start eating until I show up.

c) Kill time. Then there’s nothing left.

d) I don’t take a train to see my family—I walk through the woods!

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Skiing, sledding, or snowboarding? 

d) Snowball fight!

c) Why do any of those things? Why do anything at all?

a) When it comes to sports, paragliding is more my thing.

b) It doesn’t matter, I’ll win a gold medal in everything.

 

If you were on a desert island and could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? 

b) A desert island? Me? People would miss me too much!

d) Forest fruits.

c) Nothing and everything at the same time.

a) Dirty ice.

 

You run into an old childhood friend on the street whom you’ve not seen in a long time. How do you greet them? 

c) I eat them.

a) I don’t get a chance because, at the sight of me, my friend screams and starts running in the opposite direction.

d) Not possible, I see all my friends every day!

b) They greet me, not the other way around.


Which letter did you choose most? 

a) You’re a comet. You hurtle through life at breakneck speed, destination unknown. Some say you’re a walking disaster. Don’t take it to heart—they’re just jealous of your beauty. Wherever you land, life appears. Come and visit us any time!

b) You’re A true star! You’re the ever-shining light, adored by everyone. An enviable position! But don’t let it go to your head. As Confucius might say, “popularity is like stardust: it flares brightly, then comes down to earth.”

c) You’re a black hole. You don’t exactly emit optimism. Instead, you have a distinct, consistent personality. Nothing wrong with that! But you might try to put on a happy face every now and then. It’s hard to meet new and interesting people when you devour your surroundings at every party you attend.

d) You’re a Smurf. You’re a little blue person who is happy and full of energy. Marvelous! Children love you. You have a group of friends who are very similar to you, and you enjoy spending time together. But perhaps it’s time to broaden your horizons? Be brave! It’s not just Gargamel that awaits you—there’s a whole world out there!

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The Face The Face
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Paulus Moreelse "Girl in the Mirror", 1632, Rijksmuseum (public domain)
Variety

The Face

Matthew Coachinger

The face that’s looking back at me from the mirror looks good. That smile! That collar! Quite nice to behold. But what’s with that stain on the mirror? I haven’t seen it before. It looks like a speck of something or other. I’ll just wipe it off. 

I rub at it firmly. But it turns out there’s no speck there. Nothing. Still, I’m wiping something off—it’s paint. How come I didn’t notice this before? My smile is only painted on the mirror! 

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