What would happen if people hibernated in winter? Adam Węgłowski examines the habits of the species Homo snoriens.

At the end of December, as every year, the Dream Time begins, as millions of Poles slip into their three-month lethargy. In the days of Bolesław the Sleepy, they would hole up in caves, dugouts, huts and towers. Today they sleep in luxury bunkers, villas and hotels. Dreamboat is lucky to have a computerized studio flat with a winter hibernation function. The software guarantees that while she sleeps, she’ll learn foreign languages and subconsciously exercise. She can afford it, because she works as a commercial rep for a company that imports pillows from Kim Il Sung’s company (sold under the punny name Kip Il Sung).